“Life is a series of roads that is constantly moving us to our next place!” Enisca L. Jones
As I was walking down the hill in beautiful South Andros, Bahamas, I had time to reflect on Roads. The straight and narrow road or the wide road that is spoken of in the Bible. These roads denote the choice of a sinful life or a righteous life. Most prevalent in my thoughts were another set of roads...the road least traveled and the road often traveled. Same idea but these denote safety and risk. Ultimately, all these roads are taking you somewhere.
The Road Least Traveled
The road least traveled is a road often frowned upon because there is too much uncertainty, very little comfort and absolutely no security. It is often chaotic, confusing, terrifying and can be horrific all at once, a road of the unknown. Dare I say that we have all traveled this road at some point in our lives. Whether it is through death, sickness, job changes, family and life decisions, the road least traveled is a road of constant and continual change.
The road often traveled is not for the adrenalin junkie that needs constant change, excitement and adventure. This road is often boring, lacks challenges, lacks adventure and imagination. It’s comfortable and safe. It is predictable! It’s a road that most parents want their children on because they want to know that they are safe and secure. It is a very rare thing for a parent to encourage a child to be an individual and follow their hearts. It’s not unheard of, because I know a few, but they are rare. For some this road is the best road there is!
Did you choose it or did it choose you?.
What about if you didn’t choose it? You were quite comfortable, minding your own business and very satisfied with the way things are going. Then suddenly this thing is thrust upon you, through no fault of your own! You are blindsided, dazed, confused and in shock!
What you do?
1. Do not Panic
This is always our first reaction. We panic, we get desperate, we rage, we are terrified. We believe the situation is hopeless and you will never get out of it or find relief. We are angry and our emotions are out of whack and all over the place. We are desperate and frustrated and we begin to move helter skelter trying to figure out what to do, where to go and so on. STOP!
Take a moment and breathe. Calm down. Let your emotions settle. Then you will begin to think and clarity and solutions will come to you. I know, I know; how do you expect me to breathe and calm down when my life just imploded? What else are you going to do? Run and keep bucking up? Just breathe, just sit and breathe. Find a place that you like to go to and just sit. My place is the beach and I can sit for hours and just watch the water and just breathe. It’s a place I go to often just to calm my nerves (bahamianese) It works and I come away feeling a whole lot better. Find your place! It is not the end of the world. You will get through this!
3. Talk to Someone
Find someone to talk to, don’t keep it bottled up. VENT! Don’t keep it to yourself. Not everyone will be sympathetic. They will try to figure it out, try to lay blame, that’s ok, don’t take it personal. Easy to say I know, but I have walked that road in the end its better for you not to.
4. Get Help
This is no time to let pride get in the way. I have walked the road least traveled for a while now and had some really scary moments. Last year 2014 was one of the most terrifying times of my life. I was homeless and I had to suck it up and go to social services and get help. In that moment there was no pride and no thought of what others would think. I needed help and I went out and got it. Keep asking for help even when they say no. There is help out there!
This is the place where you question your upbringing, your beliefs, and your mindset. A place where you challenge everything that you know, a place where you discard a lot of junk, a lot of misinformation and a lot of wrong perceptions of yourself . A place where you find out what you are made of and who your family and friends really are. This is a place of freedom. Trust me it is!
6. Hold On
Believe it or not it does get better. After the homeless situation I spent 11 months out of my home country. I was in Texas and then Canada and I had some awesome experiences. I am watching things change around me as I continue to press forward. I can tell you it does get better.
7. It’s Okay
Know that it’s okay and you are okay. Know that things will change little by little, one moment at a time. This is not a sprint and things do take time to turn around. But they do turn around. Don’t give up!
Forgive yourself and those around you who don’t understand the road you are on. Its not about them. Its about you and where this road is taking you and that is a much much better place!
Whether it chose you or you chose it, the above tips apply. Even for those who choose the road least traveled there are moments of uncertainty, terror and confusion. Trust me I know. I could tell you stories lol! The road you are presently on is leading you some where! Keep the faith and keep travelling
What road are you on? Do you know? How are you coping?
Please comment and share of your experiences. Please add your tips on how you cope. We are all here to help each other.
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